There are a few books I recommend for parents. First and foremost I recommend parents of addicts read Beautiful Boy by David Sheff. This book is an honest autobiographic look at a father’s struggle with his son’s addiction. I do want to warn you that this book can be a difficult read, because David’s struggle is so palatable and well-described. I believe that this is well worth the read though.
I also really recommend reading Stop Arguing with Your Kids by Michael Nichols. One of the enemies in early recovery is taking the stance that you have to verbally convince your child to follow the rules set out for them. I often tell parents “Once you begin arguing with your child, you have already lost. They have spent all day thinking of ways to argue with you to get what they want, and you are attempting to respond in the moment. It is an unfair and unnecessary battle that does not need to happen”.
I also recommend the AlAnon Big Book. This book comes out of the Alcoholics Anonymous tradition, and it can really be a source of sanity for those who live with individuals with an addiction disorder.
And then I strongly recommend that parents of addicts attend either Al-Anon or Nar-Anon support meetings. This can be one of the scariest things to do, but I don’t think parents can be in recovery from family addiction alone. These meetings offer hope and the sense that you are not the only one in this position. In Colorado Springs, there are also Nar-Anon meetings that are specifically geared for parents. Find a group near you on the Nar-Anon website.
After these books and resources are in place, I frequently recommend some tools that can help rebuild and enhance the family relationships. I really enjoy the book The Complete Book of Questions by Gary Poole. The title is a bit of hyperbole, but there are 1000 thought provoking questions contained in the book that don’t include “How was school?” or “How was your day? (kids are used to avoiding or resisting these questions).